i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
