Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
