Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
