There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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