her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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