Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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