And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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