come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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