Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
