i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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