i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
