Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
