This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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