she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
