You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
