I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
