Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
