planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
