happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
