How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I could fuck to npr.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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