you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
