Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
