i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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