Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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