am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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