He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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