i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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