i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
