I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
