so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
