Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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