In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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