is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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