if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
