My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
