hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
