i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
