Already got asked if we're dating
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
