pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
