my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
