I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't turn off my feet"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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