I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
