Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
