all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
