My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
