awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have surprise drugs for everyone
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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