He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
