it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
