hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
