god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, beer. Big fan.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
