You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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