I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
