I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
