I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
